Women & Friendships - Complicated, But Precious!

Happy Thursday, everyone! Hope you're having a great day!

Pardon me today while we interrupt the spring shopping season to discuss something very near and dear to my heart. Today we're talking about our female friendships, all the complications of maintaining them, but all the joy they bring.

How many "best friends" did you have in middle school? Probably at least a dozen, right? Don't you remember, we all signed each others yearbooks and said "You'll be my Best Friend Forever".  We wrote "notes" that were signed "BFF". Middle school was a strange time for me, I was moving out of my ugly duckling stage and slowly into the young woman that I would ultimately become. Even with all the awkwardness and self discovery, I knew survival required me to have many BFF's. (You all would NOT believe my pictures from this period of time, trust me when I tell you, they'll never be posted around here!)

Then we all moved to high school. Some of us changed schools - I moved from a private school to a public school. Talk about a rude awakening! Everyone around me had been together since elementary school, and I was the stranger. Looking back, this is probably where I learned how to tap into my inner chameleon and fit into a place I wasn't sure I belonged. And guess what??? My best friend count went up! Amazing. More yearbooks and letters written with "BFF" signatures. With at least 2 of my BFF's that we had those heart necklaces that came in two pieces. Do you remember those? The ones where each of you kept a piece of the heart on a chain? A gold chain of course, and thick, it was the 80's after all! Think back - how many BFF's did you have?

Fast forward.........how many do you have today??? How many "best friends" can you pick up the phone and celebrate with, grieve with, or meet for a quick lunch just because? That number is significantly different today, isn't it? Mine certainly is. I feel blessed to have 3 BFF's in my life. Some will say "well it's easier for you - you don't have children - you have time". That drives me nuts........we all have 24 hours in a day! It's the little things we all can do to keep these friendships going.

You know what they say - life gets in the way. It really does. We have husbands, jobs, children, mortgages, aging parent responsibilities, and volunteer commitments. We have the everyday stress of getting it all done. We think, oh I need to call so and so, maybe when I get finished with (whatever you're doing that moment). Little by little, these friendships suffer as a result. We lose touch - we forget important events like birthdays or anniversaries. Then we feel embarrased and guilty about it, so we gradually give up. We don't call and we don't write. One day we wake up and we haven't talked to our friend in over a year!

Please don't let this happen to your friendships! Your friends will always support you! They know you're always right, but will tell you honestly when you need to buy a different size jeans, never wear that color lipstick again, or ditch a relationship. They'll tell you, yes, your hair is too blonde and perhaps low lights are in order. You won't get this honesty anywhere else. :-)

Reach out to your friends. Call them when you're in the carpool line or commuting to work. Send them a card when you know they're down. Offer to watch their children so they can have a date night with their spouse or partner. Email them for no reason other than to say "hi". Schedule a monthly lunch or girls night out. Make it a date in your calendar!

Today I'm thinking of this topic because we're celebrating my BFF Priscilla's birthday. We have been BFF's for TWENTY ONE YEARS. It's a big deal - every year we take a full afternoon - we have lunch at a great restaurant, open presents, and drink wine or some other appropriate adult beverage. We linger. Her DH scoops up their children from school. She doesn't have a time to be home. My DH knows I'll be home when I get there. We always give each other fabulous gifts. It's absolutely perfect, and oh so necessary!

Happy Birthday my dear friend, I am so thankful we met all those years ago while dating those awful boys; dumped their sorry bums and never looked back. We found the wonderful DH's we have today, you had 2 children, I moved away, then I moved back (sort of), then I moved back again (for real). I'm thrilled we live close to each other again and are able to spend quality time together. I love you to death girl, and am so happy to call you my BFF. Just don't get mad because your picture is on here. I know it didn't go through the approval process, but you go to bed with the chickens. :-)