Friday, August 5, 2011

Fearless Fitness Friday: Comparing Myself To Others

TGIF! The DH is returning home for a short visit and I'm looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend! What fun do you have planned?


Welcome to another edition of Fearless Fitness Friday. Today I want to talk about something that has been bothering me all week. Why do we feel compelled to compare ourselves to others? Especially when we know - in our head at least - that we are all so different. Our heart is a different story, of course. 


I've been beating myself up bad (not with the pink boxing gloves, don't worry, but mentally) all week. I feel like this weight isn't coming off fast enough. I feel like I am the fattest one of my friends. I feel like a giant in a photo next to others. Frankly, I feel like a loser - a failure - for letting myself get to this point. When did this weight get so out of control? Why didn't I take the necessary steps years ago to fix this? Why didn't my DH (bless his heart) make me get my butt in gear? Especially before I turned the big 4-0 (and 41 next Friday, oy vey) and it's so hard to do now. 


I can remember the days when I decided to go on a "diet" and I'd drop all the fast food, the sodas, exercise a little bit, and lose it fast. Those days are now officially gone. I'm lucky to lose a pound a week now. And it's so frustrating. 


You know how you finally make the decision to do something, and you want it done right then? Doesn't matter that you know (again, your brain knows!) that it's going to take a while. We are impatient, I know I am. 


Doesn't really help matters that I live at the beach, where we are always in swimsuits or less clothes than if I still lived inland. Doesn't help that I have all these beautiful, skinny girlfriends (size 0, size 2, size 4) that I have to go out to the beach with and sunbathe laying next to. It all makes me feel like a beached whale. Don't ask me why this is bothering me so bad now, when it didn't two years ago. I guess because I'm just tired of being fat. I'm tired of feeling bad about myself. And I'm sorry that you are reading about it today, but I just can't throw up a blog post where I pretend that I'm feeling great. I'm really not. 


Hopefully I will get out of this funk soon. Hopefully the scale will begin to move soon, and I can stop avoiding the mirrors and dreading going to the beach. I'm trying to remind myself that I live a great life, and I should be thankful for what I have. Except the one thing I can't order up online - a new body. 


At least I'm happy with my face and hair (that's really all I can say I like about my appearance now). And at least I can get a tan...I'm a firm believer that "tan fat looks better than white fat". 


Have a Fantastic Friday. I have a busy day planned - which means less time to obsess over this madness. :-) 


p.s. Know that I'm not normally a complainer. If you're a long time reader, you already know - I'm normally a very happy person and prefer to look at the glass half full. This too shall pass, I just hope it's soon! 

4 comments:

  1. Unfortunately our culture promotes these comparisons between women in order to sell beauty products and more. This makes it very difficult to rise above it all. The changes in our bodies as we age don't help matters any. But we need to remember that with age comes wisdom and experience that is worth 50 skinny bodies in bikinis. And health, no matter the size, is paramount!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was a great post Lori! That is what blogs are for, expressing your thoughts/opinions and sometimes that includes frustration. I know exactly what you are saying about the frustration and the change in metabolism. If I had done 10 years ago what I do now ( work out 6 days a week, always dieting, etc) I would be extremely skinny. Instead I've GAINED 8 pounds this summer, almost inexplicably. Unfortunately our metabolisms aren't getting any better. You are beautiful the way you are but if you want to lose some weight just keep up the good work- losing 1-2 pounds a week is great!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I actually love this post because it shows not only that you are a very real person but also normal. I think we all have those days where we arent happy with our body. Great post and have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lori, I was thinking you are looking really cute in the summer/GF pictures! Perspective! You are still ROCKING your Lilly! Most of my Lilly is hiding in the closet this summer:)The loss of my dad has given me all the excuse I need lately..I am sad...Food is good:)
    I'm ready for another Bahama Mama! Call me if you come to Pensacola:)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...